Sunday, a woman honked at Marty and waved wildly for his attention. What was up? “I love you,” she shouted. As it turns out, she works for the ACLU here and was responding to our ACLU bumper sticker.
The cover of Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed! depicts some caricatured well-known faces crawling from under a child’s bed, one of them reaching for the child’s piggy bank, and the other being interviewed by the donkey media.
The four main antagonists are:
Mr. Fussman, founder and CEO of the LCLU, Liberaland Civil Liberrties Union, “a group that, through the Liberaland judicial system, has successfully removed all references to God in Liberaland. Churches are now required to resemble strip malls.”
Then there’s Senator Kruckle, a multimillionaire who “earned his money the old-fashioned liberal way–he married into it…He has never held a private sector job nor owned a home. His three children, following in the footsteps of their parents, attend the prestigious Liberaland Private School for Elites. ”
The individual reaching for the piggybank’s tail is Congresswoman Clunkton, “a star in the Liberaland Socialist Party and a multimillionaire from class action lawsuits.”
The donkey is interviewing a red-cheeked Mayor Leach. Former Presidential Candidate and Chairman of Liberaland Socialist Party, he “comes from a long line of Leaches in politics. Because of his family name, he has earned millions from fundraising and speaking engagements. He too has never held a private sector job or owned a home. He has successfully survived numerous scandals involving interns, adult beverages and movie stars to become the longest serving Mayor of the LSP. ”
The plot? Little Tommy and Lou decide to start a lemonade stand in order to buy a swing set. They are doing well when the liberals descend and try to “tax and regulate their dream away”.
The New York Press review, Under the Covers, Conservative Style by Azi Paybarah, offers a glimpse,
With a portrait of the Gipper looking down on them, the boys’ mom points to a lemon tree, whose lucrative lemons are in full bloom. The boys decide to sell lemonade, and even set aside money to help kids with no shoes, because nobody knows the pain of life without Air Jordans better than white boys in the suburbs.
The boys set up a lemonade stand somewhere in Liberaland, home of K-Marx, Spendbucks Coffee, Dean’s Cream, the law firm of Duey Taxim and Howe, LLP, and, of course, the Ninth Circuit. Driving down the filth-ridden street is a limousine.
…
Once they start making some real money, though, the liberals come.
A red-cheeked Mayor Leach explains that taxes are “where you give the government half of your money so we can spend it better [because] we liberals know what is best for our shoeless children”… Later, he brags on TV that he’s purchased “three million, yes THREE MILLION dustpans for our shoeless children.” Evidently lemonade sales had been brisk, indeed. The boys are confused, though: why would the mayor buy dustpans for shoeless children?
Because that’s what liberals do, damnit.
The kids put a picture of Jesus on top of the stand since God gave them the lemon tree.
Enter Mr. Fussman, a LCLU lawyer wearing an Abraham Lincoln-style top hat that doubtless conceals his devilish Jew horns. He’s there to replace the offending son of God with a picture of a big toe, which “According to our research… is one of only two things that do not offend anyone.” Want to know what the other is? (DeBrecht promises we’ll find out in the sequel.) Jewboy—excuse me, Fussman—then grabs his “I [heart] Activist Judges” briefcase and heads off…
Congresswoman Clunkton demands broccoli be sold with the lemonade, and another Senator legislates only one spoon of sugar be used per pitcher.
Lemonade is now $5. Customers are gone. A homeless man sleeps on the decaying stand. A spider sits in the lemonade pitcher, which is leaking mysterious green ooze. Dustpans are strewn everywhere. Broccoli is rotting on the sidewalk. And Jimmy Carter stands on a soap box, extending his arms in triumph, giving Liberaland a toothy grin.
Don’t reach for the Kleenex yet. To quote Biggie Smalls, “It was all a dream.” The boys wake up in their shared bedroom, safe under a cross and a picture of the Statue of Liberty…
The author is Katharine DeBrecht, mother of three, freelance newspaper reporter who served as South Carolina’s co-captain of Security Moms for Bush.
Katharine DeBrecht blogs at the website of her publisher, World Ahead. I just finished reading her November 2nd blog. In it a son let’s her know they studied for the wrong chapter of a social studies test. He got a grade of 83. One of the questions that fouled him up?
I go through the questions he missed. One question stood out: “What do people do if they don’t have any money to buy goods and services?†The correct answer: Barter. My son’s answer: “get a job.†I couldn’t be more proud of him.
Another blog entry complains about liberal response to the book and her brainwashing kids on politics.
C’mon, guys. Your side of the aisle has been doing this for years. You’ve been peddling socialist fish and gay kings in our classrooms for years.
The Rainbow Fish, from Switzerland, is about a fish that refuses to share its “prized iridescent scales”. Left without friends he is advised by a wise octopus to give away his beauty and discover how to be happy.
King and King is about a prince who falls in love with and marries a prince.
Continuing in the same vein, Katharine points to the book No, George, No! The Re-Parenting of George W. Bush, by Kathy Eder, in which Bush is visited by a Truth Fairy whose first lesson is to teach G.W. to speak the truth, though doing so isn’t always easy.
In another posting, Katharine DeBrecht replies to email, including one from a woman who tells her, “You are so off base. I work as an advocate for families and children with special health care needs. You need to do your research.”
Katharine DeBrecht responds….
Actually, we have done our research…extensive amounts. And what we’ve discovered is that we have no idea what your point is, unless it’s a sly way of letting us know that, under the current Republican regime, Very Important Persons such as Advocates for Families and Children with Special Health Care Needs just aren’t being given the Respect and of course Money that they deserve.
Well, Beth, to paraphrase the immortal words of RINO Mike Bloomberg, “We can’t do everything.”
She gets pissy about Al Gore’s “Sierra Club Rant” and says next he’ll be blaming Bush for climate changes on Mars.
Another book put out by the publisher World Ahead, written by Aman Verjee and Rod D. Martin, with an introduction by Jeb Bush, is Thank You, President Bush Reflections on the War on Terror, Defense of the Family, and Revival of the Economy.
World Ahead is chaired by Eric M. Jackson. Kathy’s book is part of their new imprint, Kids Ahead, which, it’s stated, will help pass on their moral values to their children “in an overwhelmingly liberal media environment.”
Eric Jackson was the senior director and interim vice president of marketing for Paypal.
Co-Founder and Vice-President is Norman Book III, co-founder of Pay-Pal and the Stanford Review.
The Vice Chairman is Jeff Giesea, founder and chairman of FierceMarkets, a business-intelligence company.
The treasurer of the Board is Thorvin Anderson, “the director of portfolio economics for a major energy company. ”
Future titles anticipated by Katherine are Help! Mom! Hollywood is in My Hamper!, Help! Mom! There Are Lawyers in My Lunchbox!, and Help! Mom! The Ninth Circuit Nabbed the Nativity!
I would consider going out and buying the book (maybe) so I could read it first before ragging on it, but the book is said to have been among the top-selling books for children at Amazon, at one point hit No. 1 on the Barnes & Noble best-seller list, and after 6 weeks was preparing for a third printing.
All this makes me think of Henry Dawes, author of the Indian allotment act.
Dawes said of the American Indian’s concept of communal tribal “ownership”,
There is no selfishness, which is at the bottom of civilization. Until this people will consent to give up their lands, and divide them among their citizens, so that each can own the land he cultivates, they will not make much more progress.”
Senator Henry Teller of Colorado decried humanitarian glosses to the Dawes Act and said the aim of the bill was “to get at the Indian lands and open them up to settlement. ”
And look what happened.
Vine Deloria Jr. died on Sunday. He wrote Custer Died For Your Sins, An Indian Manifesto. The seed of that book was his sarcastic response to an article printed in the Catholic weekly, “America” in 1965. The article was “The Indian in a Cultural Trap”, written by Jesuit Priest, Lawrence E. Barry.
Lawrence Barry didn’t like this sharing business either, and pretty much begins his article with a complaint against it, so it hit a pretty sore spot with him. Barry cited Pope John XXIII’s defending the right of private property as a universal right, “one that safeguards the dignity of the human person and strengthens the stability and tranquillity of family life. The Indian habit of sharing, which from a distance may look like a virtue, is nowadays, in my judgment, a clearly immoral element of Indian culture…” He complained about tax-free mineral royalties paid to Indians. He complained about their tax-free allotments. He complained about Indians leaving the parish school for the public one as they didn’t want to pay the mission registration fees and lunch money for their children. He complained about their not giving to the church. He complained about their not wanting to work–or at least the reluctance to take orders and perform routine tasks. He said they had no incentive to work and save.
It’s a very old conflict going on here, and though the situations are a world apart, it is interesting to me how similar some of the arguments the Right Right makes are with those lodged against American Indians, based on the notion that selfishness is at the heart of civilization and progress and this being a capital idea. Also old, this notion that those without have squandered their summers playing rather than stocking their cellars against the winter. That they are wasteful, without incentive.
Barry wrote, “It is comforting–but, alas, not correct–to think that wisdom can be had by simply observing and living with the movements of nature rather than through effort, thought and discipline.”
I don’t know where he got the idea that effort, thought and discipline weren’t a part of American Indian character.
Deloria’s sarcastic response, in part, was,
The missionary and his ideaas are attractive from a distance. Examined more carefully, however, that missionary and those ideas are something less than perfect. Missionaries have a tradition, for example, of wanting Indian people to want the same things they want. Those of us accustomed to the Indian culture, where the right to be different is taken for granted, are tempted to look upon conformity to the missionaries’ ideas as a pleasant means of getting along in modern society. Again, in a culture proud of the tradition of remaining silent unless one is asked by one’s peers for one’s opinion, the ability of the missionary to be an instant expert on all subjects can look like a noble tradition. Moreover, in the midst of a calm and contemplative life, the ability to spend a lifetime in monotonous repetition of the same basic work can be taken to represent a form of high wisdom and security. It is comforting–but, alas, not correct–to think that wisdom can be had simply by obeying theological doctrines and disciplines.
The Indian culture respects the honest man. We speak wwith pride of the fact that we have not broken a single treaty, that we have kept our word, while the United States government has broken over four hundred treaties. Missionary culture, as I have seen it, does not respect the truth. In an acquisitive society, the doctrine is every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost. So the truth is always submerged in favor of the urge to escape the devil.
Deloria, replying to Barry’s remarks on Pope John XXIII’s defense of private property and the Indian habit of sharing being immoral, wrote,
Chief Red Cloud, in one of his more profound statements said, ‘You must begin anew and put away the wisdom of your fathers. You must lay up food and forget the hungry; when your house is built, your storerooms filled, then look around for a neighbor whom you can take advantage of, and seize all he has.’
More recently Vine Deloria Jr. wrote,
In recent years we have come to understand what progress is. It is the total replacement of nature by an artificial technology. Progress is the absolute destruction of the real world in favor of a technology that creates a comfortable way of life for a few fortunately situated people. Within our lifetime the differences between the Indian use of the land and the white use of the land will become crystal clear. The Indian lived with his land. The white destroyed his land. He destroyed the planet earth.
No, I don’t think it’s a stretch to compare Katharine DeBrecht with Henry Dawes and Lawrence Barry and contrast her with Vine Deloria Jr. Not at all.
Katharine DeBrecht happens to be a pen name. She says that she uses a pen name because some liberals are really nuts and she wanted to protect her family.
I can’t think of much of anything to say in wrap-up except, heh, what the hell does she Katharine have against barter?
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