{"id":840,"date":"2006-03-04T20:40:36","date_gmt":"2006-03-05T00:40:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/?p=840"},"modified":"2012-09-09T09:50:28","modified_gmt":"2012-09-09T13:50:28","slug":"in-which-i-find-it-has-all-been-written-and-there-is-nothing-else-for-me-to-do-in-this-world-but-microwave-hotdogs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/840\/in-which-i-find-it-has-all-been-written-and-there-is-nothing-else-for-me-to-do-in-this-world-but-microwave-hotdogs\/","title":{"rendered":"In which I find it has all been written and there is nothing else for me to do in this world but microwave hotdogs"},"content":{"rendered":"

ANNOUNCER: Other shampoos just work on your hair. But Chambraigne travels down each follicle and bores into your skull, depositing magical knowledge crystals.<\/p>\n

TV’S AL ROKER: (“Heavy User”): Lather your way to a new intelligence.<\/p>\n

(CHAMBRAIGNE LOGO OVER VIDEO OF MAN IN TOGA PUTTING ON CROWN OF LEAVES)<\/p>\n

ANNOUNCER: With Chambraigne. The shampoo of kings. (Faster) Made by Carl and Sons. Continued use may result in limb loss.<\/p>\n

(CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL IMAGE ON OLD-FASHIONED TV SCREEN)<\/p>\n

SPACE GHOST: Finally, a product for me! I believe every word that man just said, because it’s exactly what I wanted to hear.<\/p>\n

(TIME LAPSE – SPACE GHOST HAS LATHER ON HIS HOOD AND IS SURROUNDED BY BOXES OF CHAMBRAIGNE)<\/p>\n

SPACE GHOST: Ha ha ha ha! I’m already smart enough to know this is working!<\/p>\n

(DRAMATIC MUSIC, SHOT OF SMALL, GLOWING PLANET TOPPED WITH A HEALTHY HEAD OF HAIR, CUT TO EXT. OF CARL & SONS )<\/p>\n

VOICE: This is a proud day for Carl and Sons, son. (TWO BRAINS HOVER IN SHADOW)<\/p>\n

LARGE BRAIN (CARL): We’ve sold enough Chambraigne to purchase this…television.<\/p>\n

(OPENING TITLES PLAY ON TV SCREEN)<\/p>\n

SMALL BRAIN (SON): (incoherent squeaking)<\/p>\n

CARL: Yes, son. Fetch daddy’s hard plastic eyes so he can see the TV.<\/p>\n

(SON RUNS OFF SCREEN, CRASHING NOISES ARE HEARD)<\/p>\n

CARL: On the dresser! You are an imbecile!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Source<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ANNOUNCER: Other shampoos just work on your hair. But Chambraigne travels down each follicle and bores into your skull, depositing magical knowledge crystals. TV’S AL ROKER: (“Heavy User”): Lather your way to a new intelligence. (CHAMBRAIGNE LOGO OVER VIDEO OF MAN IN TOGA PUTTING ON CROWN OF LEAVES) ANNOUNCER: With Chambraigne. The shampoo of kings. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-840","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cinema"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/840","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=840"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/840\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=840"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=840"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/idyllopuspress.com\/meanwhile\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=840"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}