IdyllopusPress Presents

I’m an insomniac and was painting anyway

No Impact Man today endorses himself with philosophers from “Locke to Sartre”, and, specifically, Aristotle, Confucius and Aquinas.

Some readers have taken No Impact Man to task for calling for financial contributions to aid our Super Green No Impact Hero in his No Impact activities and to support his blog. They ask how his fortune-favored lifestyle (book deal, cleaning person, Fifth Avenue digs which he says are hovel small but into which until recently he had stuffed a 52 inch television) and his year-long quest to be No Impact for his book (oh, and to save the world, as per his blog header) fits with his request for donations, especially as he was saving money by not consuming.

No Impact Man, who said he needed to earn a living and didn’t have the leisure or money to “putter” around an attempt at self-sustaining farming like his querents, points out that Aquinas believed moderate self-restraint was the foundation of perfect love, whereas involuntary poverty was spiritually dangerous, compelling people to be bad to escape it.

Uhm. Thus for sake of love for you (I guess) does No Impact Man request your financial support.

Out of sake of perfect love, will you help him out or are you willing to chance being pick-pocketed by him one day outside his Fifth Avenue apartment building, thus damning your soul for having pushed him to depraved acts?

Your call!

* * * * * * * * *

P.S. It works! I spoke to the Ozone and it’s phenomenal the love that’s come pouring in for “Unending Wonders of a Subatomic World (or) In Search of the Great Penguin”!

“Loved it!!! You are my favorite living author!” – Ken Kesey
“Wow! Great read! I’d ask for an autographed copy but it’s too late for that.” – Camus AND Ralph Ellison
“Put any words in my mouth that you want to, I’m dead and can’t do anything about it.” – Robert Altman
“I would have loved to have made this book into a movie!” – Robert Altman
“I’m really really dead and can’t do anything about any words you might put in my mouth, but I loved your book so don’t worry about fake quoting me.” – Homer

Posted

in

by

Juli Kearns

Tags:

Comments

12 responses to “I’m an insomniac and was painting anyway”

  1. Jim McCulloch Avatar
    Jim McCulloch

    His book (and movie) could take a whole new and interesting direction if he is driven to a life of crime by déclassé living. The scorn of the doorman drives him to armed robbery!

    This could certainly lead to a more marketable movie than what he has in mind, with elements of Bonnie and Clyde, and with some Paris Hilton overtones, and with Kant as the voice in his head telling him to rob in such a way as to at the same time will that robbery be a universal law.

    For his sake, as well as my own tastes, I would prefer a comic ending to a tragic one.

    Reply
  2. Idyllopus Avatar
    Idyllopus

    Hey, more than once I’ve thought, “I should write a novel about a No Impact Man because I doubt his is going to have a hell of a lot of comic appeal.” But I may have already covered that with Chance in “Unending Wonders”, because she was pretty low impact, living in her car. Only in that case, High Impact Faith (who had low level shades of Paris Hilton) dragged her off to live a couple of months of blatant consumerism (though it was mostly convenience stores and Wal-Marts) setting off a moral crisis.

    Still, I find myself dreamily thinking how much fun it would be to write about a No Impact Man who actually sells that No Impact book idea, the only one a publisher would pick up. Except my No Impact Man, instead of being Jr. High gung ho, would juggle having to hide how much he hates it with encroaching delusions of grandeur.

    And I think you’re right, the scorn of the doorman should drive him to crime.

    Could I do this without getting the pants sued off me? Do I want to give up writing my UFO themed book to take this up? Could I possibly COMBINE the two???

    Reply
  3. gin Avatar
    gin

    you can put words in my mouth anytime you want to, and I’m alive……Chance may have been low impact, but it was my kind of low impact……without statement….everybody say HELL YEAH…..I AINT NO HI CLASS LOW IMPACT WOMAN…nor man, as the case may be

    Reply
  4. Idyllopus Avatar
    Idyllopus

    Gin, there were even a few more today speaking up in the comments section at Colin’s blog, voicing well what they are coming to find offensive in his attitude, the heady whiff of classicism, and his failure to acknowledge his special status and compensations. He’s got a lot to learn, and I guess one could hope that criticism might eventually lead him to an earnest re-evaluation of what he’s doing and a more honest approach. But I’m not going to hold my breath. And it’s too bad, really. At this point I wouldn’t even trust an about face, I’d have to wonder about its being a calculated move.

    Reply
  5. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    I needed this more than you know. 🙂

    In some odd reversal of logic, I supported NIM a few weeks ago. How did I do this? I ordered your book. It seemed the logical thing to do. It wouldn’t have been right to make an impact on NIM’s bottom line.

    The penguin also told me to, or so I thought, but now I realize it must have been Robert Altman.

    Reply
  6. Idyllopus Avatar
    Idyllopus

    You bought my book?! Whether it was the penguin or Robert Altman, bless you! Has it arrived? So far every copy I’ve ordered has looked good. I hope the same for yours and that you enjoy it.

    I had a fun time working with those characters. I believed in them. Believe in them. But then, hey, I believed in the Great Penguin as well. I did see it when I was ten, it was a remarkable vision in the black Wyoming night, and after going to look for it (I did) and speaking to and writing people at Little America and seeking out old post cards, it seems I am the only person to have seen it. I don’t suppose many people will admit to having seen a Giant Tourist Penguin that apparently never existed, but then I’ve been talking about it since I was ten, because I didn’t know any better.

    Reply
  7. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    Yes, it arrived and in fine condition. I have not cracked it open yet. It’s waiting, waiting for the right mood, enough time… but it’s summer so that will be on hand shortly.

    Reply
  8. Idyllopus Avatar
    Idyllopus

    Before you crack it open, go to your nearest favorite bookstore, run your finger over a shelf and christen it with bookstore fairy dust, saying, “Wow! I can’t wait to read this!” It’s not a matter of whether it deserves to be in a bookstore as there are plenty of books in bookstores that never merited being written. Just something to bowl over the book’s siblings and make them hyperventilate with excitement.

    And yes, you can just say, “I did and it’s kind of sweet how proud it is now.”

    Reply
  9. Jennifer Avatar
    Jennifer

    “Before you crack it open, go to your nearest favorite bookstore, run your finger over a shelf and christen it with bookstore fairy dust, saying, “Wow! I can’t wait to read this!””

    I’ll do it! 🙂

    If it’s any help, right now it’s in one of my bookshelves flanked by a book by Molly Ivins and a Mark Twain compilation. Not bad company if you ask me.

    Reply
  10. Idyllopus Avatar
    Idyllopus

    🙂 Great company. If the book starts developing an attitude, use it as a plant tray for a couple of days.

    Reply
  11. Kate S. Avatar
    Kate S.

    “Great company. If the book starts developing an attitude, use it as a plant tray for a couple of days.”

    Hahaha! I missed your sense of humor. I just packed up your book and sent it flying off to southern California for safe keeping, with the rest of the books that I just could not part with; the poor things that could not be saved (I’m paring down greatly) ended up in the University of Alaska, Fairbanks, as did a huge box of movies and scripts, so I’m sure they will be appreciated. The people accepting my truckload all had a twinkle in their eyes.

    Or was that a gleam?

    Reply
  12. Idyllopus Avatar
    Idyllopus

    You’ll have to enlighten me on the psychic difference between a twinkle and a gleam. A twinkle seems more sparkly sprightly while a gleam seems more focused but both seem to connote the same level of gratification.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *