Well, I’d say we did admirably with our bathroom sink for three years. The landlord said it was slow draining and he wasn’t joking. Slow draining as in you run a little water and then cut it off and it takes a long time to drain that little bit of water. Which is a pain.
I went in to brush my teeth last night and what should greet me at the door but a glistening pond in place of a floor, courtesy of the person who had previously brushed their teeth. I cut off the sink’s slow-running faucet. Thankfully we’re a ground floor apartment, sitting on concrete and the floor is old ceramic tile rather than linoleum. Thankfully the floor gullies in portions and the clothes hamper escaped the deluge. The tub is an old porcelain one, not with legs, but is rounded and doesn’t span from wall to wall and the majority of the water had pooled around the tub where all H.o.p.’s bath toys are and our aquarium cleaning equipment. I transferred the containers of toys etc. into the tub, got the mop, and began what turned into a very long while of sponge and squeeze out, sponge and squeeze out, sponge and squeeze out. Marty woke up as I began and groggily called out what was going on and I explained the bathroom had flooded. “Oh, sorry,” he said. “Did it get on the wood floor?” No, I told him, I’d caught it just beginning to crest the threshold to the living room. “Good,” he said and fell right back to sleep.
I swabbed and swabbed and swabbed. And swabbed some more.
“And he tossed the lava into space,” H.o.p. is saying behind me as I type.
“Into space?”
“Yeah, into outer space.”
“And there was a house and under the house he made a bunch of people dig until they hit something and they pulled out a box and saw a bone and pulled a steak out of a coffin.”
“A steak?”
“Yeah, a steak. This big.”
“You mean beef steak?”
“Yeah. And they pulled out steaks and steaks and steaks and steaks out of the coffin that’s all there was. And then there popped out a letter and it said, ‘Dear Diary, I heard that a dino was in love with a cat’, and he dug out the letter and he said I think this might be an unfunny joke. And he said who did this letter belong to and he heard a voice say, ‘Me!’ and he said diaries don’t talk but the diary said, ‘It’s me! It’s mine!’ But I think it’s my imagination. He opened the diary and there was a mouth and above it was eyes and the diary said that letter belonged to me, and his hands popped out of the paper. The diary said, ‘The letter belongs to me, I need the letter!’ And then the dino heard a rock fall down on his toe and he went, ‘What the…’ And he lifted up the rock and said, ‘It’s a paper rock. It’s a rock that’s supposed to belong in my story about dinos.’ And he picked up the rock and put it back in the paper and shut it. And the diary caught the letter before the letter ran away and turned back into a normal diary. And then the diary said, ‘Ta ta ta! The end!’”
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