Now, you have to admit you don’t hate squid as much as you thought you did

“Now you have to admit you don’t hate squid as much as you thought you did,” says my husband.

I’ve been going through pictures of new lemur species and the find of the ancient mososaurus found in Texas and the ancient sea monster Dakosaurus andiniensis, reading the news stories to H.o.p. We look at a few pics of giant squids. I was about to refer to a post I made several days ago about how global warming will be good for kalamari and how much I hate kalamari and squid, but I fortunately remembered I never made that post. However, Marty is well aware of how much I hate kalamari and squid and octopus. I’m telling H.o.p. about how some people eat octopus and squid and I’m telling H.o.p. how I hate it but his dad loves it.

Enter his dad.

“You’ve been eating squid for years, you just don’t know it.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, you have.”

“No, I haven’t!”

“Yes, you have.”

Imagine several more rounds of me yelling that I have not been eating squid.

My husband is the primary cook around here. If he’s telling the truth he’s referring to something he cooks.

“What?” I demand. “What has squid in it?”

“I put it in all my gumbo”

“No! You do not! I have not been eating squid!”

“Yes, I’ve been putting it in the gumbo for years. I cut it up in small pieces so you don’t even know it. Now you have to admit you don’t hate squid as much as you thought you did.”

(Moment of silence.)

That’s just plain mean. That’s like when his mother tried to pass off her garden zucchini on me in casseroles and I hated zucchini.

My husband is just like his mother!

Huh. How do you like that, Mr. Cook.

Mr. Cook objects saying, “I don’t cut it up fine so you don’t know it isn’t there, just so it’s not chewy.”

“You never told me.”

“You’ve stood right there and watched me doing it!”

“It must not look like squid!”

“I get it in unsorted seafood stuff. It has squid and mussels and octopus and all kinds of things.”

I really ought to pay more attention to what’s going in my food.


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One response to “Now, you have to admit you don’t hate squid as much as you thought you did”

  1. Kate S. Avatar

    I’m going to let you in on a little secret: back in the olden days when I was a young hippy pup and used to hang out bra-less and half nekkid in Baja all the time, you used to be able to buy abalone, fresh, from the fishermen coming in at the pier. Make a fire, wash it with salt, bread it, sautee it in butter & garlic and oh, man, it melted in your mouth!

    Then, the abalone ended up on the Internationally-recognized Endangered Species list, so … in a quandry almost bordering on hyperventilating panic, I asked around in my best border Mexican, what the nearest sea-faring equilvalent would be.

    Guess what? Squid! You get the smaller ones, the tender babies, slice them thin, then flatten them out like you would a chicken breast with a spiked wooden mallet, season, bread, sautee, etc., and … I swear to Triton! You can not tell the difference! A buttery, melt in your mouth flavor, not chewy at all, almost tastes like the rich meat of expensive shellfish.

    Make a little rice pilaf, some stir-fry veggies to pour over the top, a crispy slice of faux-abalone, with sliced almonds sprinkled on top, a little grate or shake of parmesean, crack open a bottle of good Riesling, light a few candles, and you are on your way to an orgasmic *experience that could somtimes be mistaken for foreplay.

    *Get a babysitter first.

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