I suppose I can identify with aiming for good in one’s own tortured way

Oh, and just in case I thought I’m not interested in that kind of thing (which I’m not), I will sometimes say, “Ok, yeah, let’s walk right over that cliff!” as in if the rest of the pack is going, “Ooo, fun,” I will taste the day’s item on the menu because once I tried frog legs and they did taste like chicken, but I hated snails and never could get used to octopus. So, yes, since Feministe did it, I went over and took the test that divulged…

I am a hedonist.

Or a “Haymaker”.

You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth. Probably what first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy.

You can’t see the point of abstract principles and probably wouldn’t lay down your life for a concept though you might for a friend. Something of a champagne humanist, you admire George Bernard Shaw for his cheerful agnosticism and pursuit of sensual rewards and your Hollywood hero is Marlon Brando, who was beautiful, irascible and aimed for goodness in his own tortured way.

Sometimes you might be tempted to allow your own pleasures to take precedence over your ethics. But everyone is striving for that elusive balance between the good and the happy life. You’d probably open another bottle and say there’s no contest.

The result genuinely perplexed me. I thought, “If I’m a haymaker, why the hell am I not having a better time?”

I’m not even an atheist. I’m one of those pagans who’s not a wiccan pagan. More like a hula hoop kind of pagan.

I probably read some George Bernard Shaw in high school and college and maybe something in the last couple of years but I don’t recollect any of it. When I try to think of things by and pictures of George Bernard Shaw, all my brain comes up with is Oscar Wilde.

I’m not partial to Marlon Brando. I do think he made some interesting choices in his roles but I don’t own a single one of the films he was in except for “Apocalypse Now”.

I said, “That can’t be right.”

Marty read and said, “That’s not you at all.”

Then I got peeved and said, “Why not?”

Marty said something flattering.

Maybe the test determined I’m a hedonist because I’d rather vacation in Tuscany (where I’ve never been, like many other places I’ve never been) rather than, say, chew barbed wire.

Of course, it’s possible I’m a closet hedonist.