So, because H.o.p. loves monsters I read to him (in part) Arvin’s description of the Corporate Monster. He was in the middle of getting cranky about wanting another Happy Meal so he could have another Neopet. Mind you, he wants the Neopet for perfectly good reasons. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting another Neopet. Neopets need Neopet pets.
“I want more!”
“H.o.p., I have a description here of the Corporate Monster for you. Arvin wrote it.”
H.o.p. comes running. “What is it?”
“Is it friends with the government?” he asks.
“Yes, it’s good friends with the government.”
“Why is it good friends with the government?”
“Because the government that we have helps it get all the food it wants.”
“It must be friends with the Cyclops if it likes to eat people. I’m glad the government is far away from us.”
“Hmmm.”
“I’m glad the government is far away from us.”
“Well, the government is around. It’s kind of everywhere too.”
“Well, I’m glad the government can’t come inside our place.”
I didn’t bother to tell H.o.p. that the government no longer has a problem with this, due to the Patriot Act. And for some reason I was distracted enough by all this that I walked right into the aquarium. Bam. Struck my right arm. It hurt.
“Elmo can defeat the Corporate Monster!”
“Yes, I bet Elmo can.”
“Elmo uses his magic sword to crash it on the Corporate Monster and it crumbles into a lot of triangles. And then something really weird happens. Inside of the Corporate Monster are treasures. Isn’t that great that the Corporate Monster is destroyed?”
“Yes.”
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