Three Tow Trucks At Once!

Ouch, I just thwacked the shit out of my hand. That’ll be a nice bruise.

Anyway, every so often the Midtown Blue Boys show back up and proceed to their off-duty policing, which is supposed to have to do with keeping things safer in Midtown but they’re never around for all the hookers turning tricks in doorways, and if they’re around they drive right past them. Instead, what they are primarily concerned with is towing away the cars of people who live here.

Beep beep beep. We go to the front room and there isn’t just one tow truck out there this time, there are THREE. And a Midtown Blue vehicle.

One of the major points of contention is the dead fire hydrant outside our building. It’s been dead for at least five years. It even has a sign up on it saying it’s dead.

You can’t park there, of course, despite the fact it’s dead.

You point out to the Midtown Blue Boys that it is DEAD and has been dead for many years and they act like it’s kind of news to them that they don’t care about (when they well know that it’s dead) and say it’s not their problem, that it’s a fire hydrant and no one is supposed to park in front of it.

Observer (as in Marty): That fire hydrant has been dead for years.

Midtown Blue: That’s of absolutely no concern to me.

Marty called the head of Midtown Blue to talk about this and the prospect of Midtown Blue perhaps helping to get the hydrant back in service if they’re so keen on making sure no one parks in front of it. But of course it’s not their problem, they’re just here to protect us and keep us from parking our cars in front of it and dragging off cars that may infringe an inch into a yellow zone.

People talk. When residents look out and see the Midtown Blue Boys around with the tow trucks, they see dollar signs ringing up on someone’s cash register. Ding ding. Now I have no way of knowing if there’s a foundation for that reasoning but it’s what people say when they talk. Hell, it’s what *I* say when I talk. “Ding Ding.” I have no basis, no knowledge. But I say it. “Ding Ding.”

Residents periodically run down the block to warn someone who’s an inch in the yellow, “Midtown Blue’s back around again and they’re towing everything.”