One thing has nothing to do with the other

Today people are hearting No Impact Man for baking bread. With natural gas. With an electric kick-start natural gas oven. (When he discovered that the oven needed that electric kick-start he had to cut that circuit breaker back on.)

No Impact Man. Remember, the man who strains to make ZERO IMPACT and is letting us know all about it via blog and upcoming book and film.

Let that soak in a bit. People heart No Impact Man for baking bread in electric kick-start natural gas oven.

“We love you and your dedication, No Impact Man!”

Hey, kiddies, over here, I’m making JELLO! With water! City water! I heated the water on an electric stove but don’t fault me that as ours is the only stove/oven in the building that’s electric because there was a gas leak in the apartment at some point years ago and rather than find it they cut the gas off and installed the electric oven. One thing has nothing to do with the other but that seems to make no never mind, does it, so I’m not expecting you to damage any brain cells trying to figure out how A may or may not relate to A, B or C.

“But he’s making heroic efforts! Don’t rag our No Impact Man! Bad, bad, Idyllopus!”

Yes, I know. Just more fodder for me and my bucket of dust and shame.

* * * * * * *

NIM was also writing about his solar panel.

Since we switched off the mains electricity and have only the one solar panel for power, I found myself complaining that I couldn’t afford the electric juice to run the wireless modem. I was upset because I could no longer bring the computer to bed. What was I doing taking my computer to bed anyway?!

Sigh. NIM makes his one solar panel sound like a puny little, no account thing, doesn’t he?

Well, back when NIM posted on the acquisition of the solar panel, two people wrote in–very nice and very supportively of NIM’s project–questioning the use of the borrowed solar panel (which costs $3000 by the way, I had erroneously given it in a previous post as about $2200) because it’s something most people won’t be able to afford.

Ah, Colin, Colin, it’s nice that he’s “willing to accept…thoughts” that the borrowing of the approximately $3000 solar panel may be inconsistent with his project. But it’s a lot more fun to accept big old promotional cookies, ain’t it. As he so giddily points out, “Gosh darn it, I just plain old thought it would be fun to give the panel a try!”

If Colin’s only going to use the power for his laptop, however, I do wonder why he doesn’t contact some manufacturer of solar power equipment sized for charging computers at the rate of about $262 to $390 and say, “I’m beholden not to purchase anything NEW during this time, so can you please do a loan, plus it would be great exposure for you.”

But small cookies aren’t as gosh darn fun as great big cookies that the vast majority of the populace can’t afford.

Neither can Colin, apparently. Or so he says, excusing himself from purchasing the solar panel because it’s too expensive for him.

Colin’s wife is a senior writer at Business Week and he’s had several books published and is busy doing the promo for his upcoming No Impact one. If Colin’s 5th Avenue household can’t afford a solar panel, how does he expect the rest of us jokers to be able to afford one?

* * * * * * *

If you want to read today’s No Impact Man post again (just in case once wasn’t enough), as he points out, you can catch it in his Green Parenting column for Time Out New York Kids.

If I want to bake bread I’ll be using the Edward Espe Brown’s Tassajara Bread Book, which I happened upon when I was about 20 and is the greatest.

* * * * * * *

A question.

The New York Times article on NIM noted, Also, he needed a new book project and the No Impact year was the only one of four possibilities his agent thought would sell.

I’m wondering what the other three book possibilities were that Colin’s agent thought wouldn’t sell?

Anyone have any guesses? I’d love to hear them.

* * * * * *

A simple web search will reveal how to bake bread in a solar oven.

Colin may get around to it one day. Of course I don’t know if he has easy access to his building’s roof or if his 5th Avenue dwelling has a balcony. I don’t imagine he would want to sit around on the street making his bread. He could pay a more fortunate someone with balcony, I suppose, to bake his bread in a solar cooker. Maybe just pay for access to their balcony. Doesn’t have to be a 5th Avenue balcony either. But that would probably be somehow inconsistent with his project. Somehow.

Wait. Let me rephrase that. But that would probably be somehow Inconsistent With His Project. How ’bout that. The phrase now deserves to be its own Proper Noun. Or something like that.

There’s a street person on a corner somewhere who’s just going to be soaking up the sun’s rays on that corner all day and he or she might not mind babysitting a solar cooker. Colin could get them to do it for probably about the price of a store-bought loaf of bread. But, y’know, they might be hungry and eat the bread and take Colin’s money, so that idea’s out.