I’ve posted a couple of times on some beefs I have with No Impact Man. It may seem like more than that but in reality I’ve only posted three times, which is changing today to four times.
When No Impact Man advertised that he was looking for a volunteer assistant to do computer and phone duty at their own location, for free, I wrote about that because it rubbed me the wrong way in several different ways but mostly because it seemed to me No Impact Man was doing a too classic American Missions Big Me thing of raking in the Do Gooder Glory while screwing over Little Guy on the side. It seemed to me right down that long profit alley of Americans shining the democracy and freedom land light while chewing up the freedoms and land (income and time in this case) of someone else. Always with an excuse.
“But the land of the free wasn’t for the American Indian, they got screwed. And killed!”
“Yeah, but uh, well, we are the Big Boys of Democracy! It was a necessary sacrifice for the good of mankind! Besides which, they learned how to read and speak English.”
And though I might see a continuum here, you may not, so let’s boil it down to No Shades of Gray Land in which individuals keep their white hats shiny and clean by passing the devilish pitchforking the coal work along to someone else. Yes I know that pitchforks are used for hay and the pitchfork probably descends from Poseidon’s Trident, but never mind.
No Impact Man struck me as being one of those who happily takethed the oil and gases, and all those other lovely minerals, then decided he would no longer taketh the oil and gases and eat electricity and all those other lovely minerals (for a year, and do a book about it and a movie in the process), and since he couldn’t taketh but needed a way to be able to do it, thus the assistant with electricity–but to not even pay them? Just seemed to me like more take-take.
Considering No Impact Man’s former lifestyle, it surprised me that he wrote he hadn’t the income to pay an assistant. I thought to myself, “I bet they’re saving enough on breakfast alone to pay an assistant.”
Well, wouldn’t you know it! No Impact Man wrote last week a post titled Money is Green (wrap your mind around that) from which I’ve extracted the two following paragraphs:
Breakfast alone used to cost us $20. Ashamed as I am to admit it, we used to Google the number for Bagel Bob’s every morning, and then dial for coffee in plastic cups and bagels wrapped in reams of paper. The scene was so familiar to Isabella that when she saw a delivery man on his bike on the street, she would point and shout “the man, the man†as though greeting a long lost friend.
Believe me, when it came to lunch and dinner, in terms of both cost and damage to the environment, it all went down hill from there. In fact, when the project began, we were without a dime in savings and, though not in credit card debt (I’ve been there, done that), we were both way too comfortable being in overdraft. Now, the money idles provocatively in our bank accounts. We’re living on one salary and stashing the other.
So, he WAS saving enough on breakfast to pay for an assistant for ten hours a week, plus compensate them for electric for computer and for DSL and for phone and for the general running around they may (probably) have to do for him.
I thought well I will write No Impact Man a personal note, rather than posting a comment on his blog. I will write him a non-combative friendly note about this. I will write him a personal note so he won’t see it as an open challenge which he might consider it to be if it was a comment on his blog. And I hoped he would reply positively. I really hoped he would reconsider and if he did I would never rag on him again for posts like his Diced Cat Koan lesson. I would shut the hell up.
I wrote a very brief note. Not long-winded. Easy reading. I said,
Was glad to read you’re saving so much money, which was one of the first things I considered, that you would be saving a good deal of money by not eating out alone. For which reason I was surprised when you announced your need for a volunteer intern as you said you hadn’t the money to pay them. What also concerned me is that this intern would be using their computer/electricity to further your No Impact project, but likely at their own expense.
I am wondering if you have reconsidered paying your intern. Or are you, at the very least, considering paying for their electricity, DSL, phone (they are probably doing a good bit of phone for you) and general computer wear and tear?
Though paying an individual to do Impact duties for you would seem to run counter to your project, I would imagine you’d score some points with your readers if you announced you were paying your intern and providing compensation for their expenses via your savings.
I wrote that note early May 3rd and I looked at it before punching the “send” button and I thought, “You are just proving again how dumb you are,” but y’know I’ve done a lot of that in my life and it’s too late to stop now. I will be that kind of stupid until the day I die.
So I punched “send”.
I have not heard back from No Impact Man. He did not send a positive response. He did not send a negative response. He did not send a response saying simply, “Nice weather here. Thanks for writing!”
I am not worthy.
I am not worthy! Shall I fall on my knees and cover my head in dust and shame for not being worthy of a response from the much ballyhooed and beloved No Impact Man?
P.S. Stonebridge wrote a great post on the Low Impact Crusade which I really should link to at least once. Probably twice. So here it is again.
Stan Goff wrote a great post, Cover Letters, which was actually written by a commenter, which he thought ought to be highlighted. A slightly modified version was perhaps written by No Impact Man’s now fabulous intern who is doing his electrical and DSL duties for him. The post is a nice overview of some reasons we homeschool.
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