In which I wander on about vinyl tablecloths (unless you want to read how you can get mythologial and wily with them, you can pass this by)

This is what I’ve come to think of as The Lab. Our home in general, not just the supposed dining table. Because it’s really just a platform for H.o.p.’s experiments. The table is sparely set at the moment. It’s what we call Clean, not being filled to the brim with clay and Legos.

There are some things H.o.p. was working on this evening for a planned animation short. Boxes and boxes of clay beyond on the shelves. Gumby’s horse watching over the scene.

The Lab

Wednesday, on this table, H.o.p. has plans to build with me one of those Dover cut-out castles. Where we’ll put it after we build it, I have no idea. I do know that once it’s built I’ll be looking at it for the next ten years. I’m not very excited about that but I better adjust, and fast, because he’s got two more of these Dover castles he’s eager to build.

When a brother of Marty’s was coming to stay for a weekend I quickly hung the Elvis painting, which Marty had been given as a gag gift, because I knew it would entertain the brother.

On the second day he noticed. “Where’d you get the Elvis?!”

My job was done.

One day I’ll get some prints of mine framed and up.

Anyway, that’s the rust-red vinyl tablecloth I was talking about in the previous post.

Ugly.

Every so often I look around on the net at Mexican oil cloth. But it’s $5 to $15 a foot.

I love the Pohjanmaa oilcloth but it’s $48 a yard. (H.o.p. says it makes him dizzy.) I think I like this grassy thing but again $48 a yard. I would never like it that much. Ever.

As for Mexican oilcloth. If I could find it by the foot I’d buy the Bloom Silver in a heartbeat but so far I only find that you can purchase it at 12 yards for about $87.

I like this description of it.

Get wily in company with 12 yards of long-wearing oilcloth fabric. Oilcloth is the hone fabric as being tabularize coverings, luncheon bags, canis familiaris solid food mats, shingly margin bags, rock liners, aprons, or what thing soever ever so you would same to be mythological and waterproof! Today’s oilcloth is a vinyl that is bonded and supported according to a woven cotton wool meshing. Our fabric has been well-tried and passes the National Fire Protection Agency 701 categorisation with respect to commercial-grade and residential habituate.
More info…

It’s almost but not quite worth getting wily and mythological for your residential habituate for $86.94.

Almost.

Not quite.

Not at all, honestly.

I pretty easily understand what it means to tabularize coverings because I could’ve written that myself. I understand the canis familiaris solid food mats and even had they not been “solid” food mats I would still have understood. But I don’t begin to grasp what a shingly margin bag might be. Or a rock liner. But especially not a shingly margin bag.

Why doesn’t it come in a regular tablecloth size anywhere? Is it just plain impossibly ugly and I’m somehow not picking up on that?

I may break down and go with the Shimmering Gold Mexican oilcloth. Maybe. I could live with that too. Probably pretty well. I’m becoming more convinced that I could live with it very well.

In case you didn’t notice, the “Shimmering Gold” pattern is the same as the “Silver Bloom”. I noticed. And I figured that the store probably renamed it. Because I’m so smart, I took a guess and looked up “Gold Bloom” at Amazon and there it was, “Gold Bloom” for the same deal for which you can get the “Silver Bloom”, 12 yards for $86.94. Big difference between that and $5 a yard. So what does it sell for wholesale, one wonders?

Ikea didn’t have vinyl tablecloths the last time I checked, which was a while ago. So now I check again online (it’s not in the catalogue) and find they have this rust red not very interesting tablecloth for $15.

$15 and no shipping. Cause it’s a short drive away. Can you guess which I am possibly going to get??? Duh? H.o.p. needs summer clothes and his pants are all highwaters on him now. Duh. Which am I going to get?

Ikea offers one acrylic tablecloth. I wonder in how many homes and apartments that tablecloth is spread as it is the only acrylic-coated one that they offer.

Ikea really ought to offer more in the way of tablecloths. Mythological ones which permit you to get wily with company in your residential habituate preferred.


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7 responses to “In which I wander on about vinyl tablecloths (unless you want to read how you can get mythologial and wily with them, you can pass this by)”

  1. Jim McCulloch Avatar

    I think a shingly margin bag would be a beach bag, with a faint resonance of Matthew Arnold.

  2. Idyllopus Avatar

    Elvis is right now weeping over my ignorance, because I don’t know anything about Matthew Arnold’s poetry, so though I laugh, mine is the delayed, embarrassed laughter of the one in the room who hasn’t gotten the joke but doesn’t want to be obviously without a clue, which will shortly be only too horribly evident when I remark on how Jabberwocky was my favorite poem of his.

  3. Jim McCulloch Avatar

    I’m sure Elvis weeps for all of us, including those of us who had to read Dover Beach in high school and are subject to random and unexpected visitations from its images when encountering words like shingly, which happily does not occur too often.
    Jabberwocky of course was by Edward Lear.

  4. Jennifer Avatar

    Would H.o.p. like to get wily and mythological in a stunning ensemble created out of Silver Bloom? I’m guessing with 12 yards, you’d have plenty for a tablecloth and a lovely shorts/camp shirt set. I’m guessing the oil cloth might be a tad hot and unbreathable for your weather though… Perhaps a catwomanesque unitard for yourself. 🙂

  5. Idyllopus Avatar

    Jim, from now on I’ll have to make a point of throwing into my posts words like shingly.

    I will have to read Dover Beach. Maybe tonight. As soon as I get over the emotional trauma of the Dover Castle.

  6. Idyllopus Avatar

    Jennifer, I suppose I could wallpaper the bathroom with it. I’d have enough left over to make a cute toilet seat cover and bath mat. Someone once told me you can never have too many toilet seat covers. Since I wrapped a near-dead cat I came across on the side of the road in the toilet seat cover she gave me, I’ve not had one, and that’s been uhm since I was 18. Three decades is quite long enough proving myself a rebel, not having toilet seat covers.

  7. Stephanie Avatar

    I found you wondering around the internet this morning. I create lots of fun stuff using Mexican oilcloth and make table cloths in square (48×48 $27), rectangle (48×84 $35) or round (68″ $48) in many, many colors and styles.

    You may want to check it out……

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