"I was just trying to help"

For dinner tonight we had guacamole.

We make great guac. While making our great guac we realized we were out of lemon and co-adult ran out to get some. Gotta have lemon for the guac. And it was great guac. The avocados were perfect.

The last ingredient added was a little salt. Just a touch. We don’t put too much salt in the guac. I suppose a kind of production was made of this as I was doing the seasoning and did so with a little extra flourish. I guess. I’m one of those people who tends to do “ta da” extra flourishes to things. No, I don’t mean like a Martha Stewart type who can turn a pear and a can of gold paint into a festive table arrangement. No, I don’t mean an extra flourish in that way. I mean an extra flourish in the manner of the person who tap dances the last couple of steps to the gallows. That kind of person. And not knowing how to tap dance wouldn’t get in my way at all. While at the same time doing my best to not attract attention. That kind of contorted shy exhibitionist.

We made enough for tomorrow as well. And I was looking forward to snacking on the guac.

Co-adult and I were sitting and eating our tostadas with the guac. Our son, who wouldn’t touch guac with a ten foot pole, comes in and excitedly wants us to come taste the guac as he added more salt to it to make it extra good.

We thought he was joking.

Our son, who has never exhibited any interest in anything to do with the kitchen except the magic of jello solidifying and the wonders of pudding thickening as one stirs, kept saying he was trying to make it extra good and wanted us to try it out.

“How much salt did you put in?” I finally said.

“Two teaspoons,” he brightly replied like he knew what in the world he was talking about.

Probably more like two tablespoons. For we realized he might not be joking and co-adult took a taste and spat it right back out.

The guac was ruined.

“I was just trying to help,” H.o.p. said, adding that he’d been thinking if we became really good cooks then we could open a restaurant and earn our living that way.