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Your sofa descriptions and memories

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Submitted by Marta:
I have four sofas. Two are relatively new and are for people only. I was not in the market for any new furniture but one of the more mundane features of this house (which we moved into about a year ago) is this sort of mauvish pinkish sculptured carpeting in the living room and family room. The landlord said the previous tennants stole it from the Zion Baptist Temple. I live in fear each day that some evangelist will show up on my door step to reclaim their floor covering. Still, as you can furniture is not for everyone. These two sofas caught my eye as perfect matches for the floor covering....a floral print, but not prissy....muted pink in just the right shade and lots of greenery. I bought them. They are overstuffed and some nights I'd just as soon bunk down on one of them than my own bed. The sofa in the living room, which is really not a living room is more like my study, is some knock-off ultra suede in a camel color. It has seen better days but is entirely presentable. Toby, my part time puppy (I raised him but when he got to be as big as ap pony he went to stay at the farm with Grant and now visits only occasionally), who is part greyhound and part shepherd particularly likes this sofa and can be found napping on it from time to time. This is also the sofa that survived my son's testing for Consumer Reports magazine. I found him one morning with three unwrapped tampons on each seat cushion, pouring a pitcher of Kool-aid (Black Cherry) on each feminine protection product. It's hard to get rid of a sofa with a history like that. I think I may have shared information on my fourth and most recent sofa acquisition. It is gold brocade and Rachael (my daughter) calls it a "Brady Bunch Sofa". Yes, it is reminiscent of poor taste in days gone past.....We accepted it when offered to provide more seating for those times when the whole family wants to sit in the family room with room for possible company and overnight guests. It is rather large, sits on four wheels for that ever important portability factor and is unique in that it is very low to the sink right into in, but often need assistance in getting out of it. It was custom made in Lancaster, PA for a woman who was only 4' 11". That is my sofa repertoire.

Update, 8/20/1999:
As some of you may recall, we had four sofas. The house we are vacating had a living and family room allowing us such plentiful seating. We are giving up he family room for a fourth bedroom in this instance. So.....some of the seating has to go. We decided we could best part with what Rachael calls the "Brady Bunch Sofa"...

This is the gold brocade sofa we got from a friend who had gotten it from a Doctor's wife who was very short. The sofa was made in Pennsylvania Dutch country according to specifications. In other words, it sits very low to the ground. The other interesting feaure is the sofa sits on wheels. Rachael and I were up very late Friday night, packing and move some of the unwanted stuff out onto the carport as we are going to place them in a local paper for sale.

Okay, after a very frustrating week I admit to mixing a little Dickel in with my coke that really loosened me up.

Picture this, a typical residential neighborhood around 2am on a Saturday morning....very quiet. Whap! The side door opens and out sails this land yacht of a sofa onto the silent residential streets....we begin wheeling it around front to the driveway.

"Mom, get on it and I'll push you."

"Don't be silly."

"No, really....I'll give you a ride."

I hop on and Zeus (our three and 1/2 month old Norwegian Elkhound) immediately follows. Off we go. Except that Rachael does not push me to the driveway. Instead she runs behind the sofa pushing it in the opposite direction all the way up Lincoln Drive (which runs into my street). We are laughing hysterically as we fly past Stinky's house (the landlord), past Mr. Compton's house (Rachael's junior high principal). She collapses onto the sofa next to me, laughing. The moon is full. We sit there in the middle of the street on our big sofa, silent. Not one car turns onto the street. And of course, with my luck---if one did; it would be a police car. We laugh about trying to explain it to the cops. We look back toward the house and see Mr. Mac's little red truck next door.

"Mac, I'm so sorry! I hit your truck!" I say.

"No, not with my car....I hit it with my sofa!" Rachael adds.

"Your turn." I tell her and I get a running start and push her and Zeus back to the house. We start to smell something a lot like rubber burning....I suspect it is the wheels on the sofa. Yep, we are burning rubber now!

We push up the driveway and rest the sofa on the grass under the huge tree in the front yard. The one with the two tiered flower bed around it....the one with the lights around it....the one I spent so much time caring for, raking up leaves around and providing food for it's occupants(countless birds and thieving squirrels). It is perhaps the feature I will miss most about this house. We sit quietly on this big sofa, under this big tree gazing at the full moon. I look at this house and think, it's not such a bad house. Hopefully someone will buy it cheaply and have the good sense to replace the carpet that was stolen from the Zion Baptist Temple by previous tenants and badly laid. Hopefully someone will replace the aging plumbing, fix the roof and gutters and maybe give it a fresh coat of paint. Hopefully someone will love the backyard as much as I did and maybe even put up a new fence and plant tomatoes back there next summer. The moon is so pretty. I wish I would have thought about putting a sofa in the front yard, under the big tree, a long time ago.

Goodbye, old house.
Submitted by Laurie:
Alas, we don't HAVE a sofa! Juli has met our futon, which is sofa-like. Does it count? Do BIgSofa sofas associate with halfbreeds? the thing about futons is: 1) We have to make the bed every single day. 2) We have to unmake the bed every single day. 3) If we eat snacks while watching TV, we sleep on crumbs. 4) Visitors sit where we sleep. 5) The cats sleep behind the futon when it's a sofa, so when it's a bed, they wander around lost and confused. 6) When you remove a black futon cover, the futon inside looks like it's been dragged through a charcoal pit. 7) The longer you sleep on a futon, the more it form-fits to your body. Tim and I can't switch sides at night anymore because his dents don't match my body. 8) Because it's jerked up and down every day, the wooden frame gets wobbly. One of the drop-down legs falls off about every 2 weeks because it unscrews itself. After we moved, Tim had to drill new holes all over it because so many of the screws were stripped when we took it apart. I don't ever remember having to reconstruct a real couch. 9) You can jump on a bed; you cannot jump on a futon. I was being silly when we first got it and did a spazzy leap into the middle of it. I snapped one of the slats in two; now there's a piece of particle board across the gap. 10) People who visit our place for the first time think we have a bedroom hidden behind one of our doors. They're shocked when they find they've been sitting on our bed, and that this really is all the space that we have. 11) We'll probably never have a "real" bed or a "real" couch as long as we live in New York (who can afford to pay for the extra room needed for both). So our Christmas present to ourselves was a "real" mattress for the futon. It's a new product and only one company makes them. The inner construction is just like a normal mattress, with a flexible area down the middle so it can bend easily. This will sound trite, but the first night we felt like we were sleeping on a cloud--I kid you not. We can even switch sides now. That's it on the futon. It's not particularly memorable and has no sentimental value. It's pure function.
Submitted by ZB:
My sofa is very special to me, but not to my husband so has been through some trauma. It is blue, green, burgundy plaid. My husband hates it and once when I was gone for 3 months he put it outside in the west Texas spring time. It got sand blasted and rained on. Much to his dismay, I proudly moved her back into the living room. (Incidentally, since she's a Texan, she's not a "sofa", but a "couch".)
Submitted by Slackville:
This is the former home of Big Blue, which is neither Lake Ozark nor Hoover Dam's Lake Mead. It is instead Lake Truman, where is the Harry S. Truman dam, for which reason it is the Truman Big Blue sofa. Reports Slackville's Management, "One American President is much like another to us ignorant Brits which can lead to the creation of fables whose widths and depths can only be guessed at. Here is latest version of where and why it's not where it was. It's as near the truth as anything can be. It was not the Hoover Dam but the Harry S Truman and the lake was the Truman Lake."

UPDATE: A scrap of paper has surfaced (yeah, yeah, I know) which has revealed the TRUE location of the Big Blue Sofa. "It was at the Willow Winds Resort, Lake Road, Wheatland, Missouri and the lake was Lake Pomme de Terre. But I definately went over that dam - I mean the road not the edge.

"For more see

"The swimming pool was empty but it still cost $46 a night."

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