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IDYLLOPUS PRESS : BIG SOFA : Guest Writers : John Citizen : seven chakra salad

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"Ompapa, ompapa
That's how it goes"



God Bless America. God Bless You. God Damn It. God God God God God God God God God. Good God. God loves you, friend. My God is so big so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do. God is my copilot. God rules. God loves the sinner but hates the sin. God said it, I believe it, that settles it. God said "Thou shalt not take My name in vain." God also said "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

E.E. Cummings wrote a poem titled "next to god america i . . ." and that might as well have been the entire poem. Might as well have been God who wrote that poem. But, so far, it appears that the Almighty Father hasn't committed Himself to paper. Instead, this is what God did. God gave dictation, in order to write the Holy Scriptures. Because back then (according to scholars) God's Hand of Providence was too big to pick up a pen and write the Scriptures Himself. [Which begs the question: Can God create text so tiny that even HE can't read it?] Every shrewd capitalist knows: if God had taken time to write the Holy Scriptures Himself they would probably be worth more today.

The important thing is that God Bless America. The reason why is God Set Up the Divine Right of Kings. But according to we Americans real Kings are merely cute; not to be taken seriously. We The People Know that Every Man Is King, and some women, too. The important thing is God. And God is in control. The keepers of our Faith take God's Holy Scripture literally, substituting only when necessary. For example, God no longer tells us what to do through the rule of Kings. Not in America. That's just silly, according to the wisdom of America's founding fathers, and later to God. Today in the U.S. God elects Official Leaders for us through a Republic, for which it stands. Once God chooses our Leaders for us, all we can do is pray for them. Pray to God for them. In the 1990's this news troubled a few members of the Clergy and the Religious Right Wing, who, when cornered, were forced to admit that if one voted against Bill Clinton in 1992 (or again in 1996), one voted AGAINST God's Will. If one thinks about it one should consider oneself as Blessed for not being snuffed out like Ananias and Sapphira for going against God's Will. Zap. God could do that, if God wanted. He could explode one into a thousand and one pieces. Just like if one were shoved into a giant human-sized microwave oven. God could create a microwave oven that big. If God wanted.

In America God's Will was not so obvious in the year 2000. Who's side was God on in the presidential election? Will God punish Americans for trying to rule themselves? Stupid Democracy. You'd better listen to George W. Bush, he executes people. He punishes them just like God would, if God were Governor of Texas. God could be Governor of Texas if God wanted.

If God is going to punish Americans, is God going to punish them through a President George W. Bush? And if God did set up Governor Bush to be our next President, why did God act so indecisively; a "statistical dead heat"? What is God trying to teach us? I just know we've got it coming. After all, God did say "Whoever spares the rod, spoils the child." Every time we see a rainbow we are reminded of how God destroyed us by drowning everybody with a worldwide flood. Oops I mean every time we see a rainbow we are reminded that God shall never again destroy us by drowning everybody with a worldwide flood. But (again, according to scholars) that leaves God with other options. Which makes me think God could (if God wanted) identify with Americans. God likes options. We like options because God first liked options. God also loves Order. It doesn't necessarily have to be tallest to smallest or oldest to youngest and we don't necessarily have to sort folks by gender or race, as long as they are sorted, in an Orderly fashion, that's all that matters to God. Smooth machines, smooth transitions. God is like a technical engineer who only troubleshoots when He has to. And He likes to remind us that Guns don't kill people. He does.

Dear God: What are you telling us? I'm listening with my fingers to the keyboard and my left ear to a seashell. I live in America, a nation that claims to lead the world in freedom, equality and justice for all. And the one thing I learned about my country this year is that in America the candidate who gets the most votes loses the election.

Now everybody look under your chairs and see if your seat is marked as "saved". That's right, it's come to my attention that God has marked every chair as "saved" or "unsaved". Oh, and please remember that God is the one who ushered you to your seat, so don't bother complaining if you're not satisfied with the seating arrangement. However, you do have the freedom to choose not look to see whether or not your seat has been marked as "saved" or "unsaved". That is the important thing. Your freedom. The important thing is Free Will. Oh, and also, the ability to will one thing. And there are a few other rules, but in the end life is what you make it. It's a free country. Right?


In America the candidate who gets the most votes loses the election. In America the candidate who gets the most votes loses the election. In America the candidate who gets the most votes loses the election.

©copyright 2000 j q citizen

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