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sphinx picture picture of flying pig picture of sphinx
ADRIENNE's KITCHEN

Adrienne

Hair: Medium brown and growing out
Height: Average
Weight: Drinks coffee
Age: Born in the seventies. Heavily influenced by KC and the Sunshine Band
Nationality: Southern Fried
Occupation: Social worker
Pets: Black labrador. Likes to take in abandoned kitties and find homes for them.
Hobbies: Collecting pig memorabilia, baking ham and corn pies, late night browsing at Wal-Mart

This kitchen is not about what Adrienne is, but about what Adrienne could have been had she been a mother ensconced in a somewhat more profitable-than-average neighborhood sometime between, say three years after Jackie O, in a Chanel pill-box hat, clambered onto the back of a convertible in Dallas, Texas, and when she betrayed America and the fallen Camelot by marrying a Greek tycoon.

Rather than being roused out of heavy slumber by the alarm in which she invests religious faith, walking the dog and speeding off to work in a sporty oversized vehicle, had Adrienne been around in the sixties she could have had this kitchen in which she would likely have spent the majority of her day (if she wasn't spending it in the kitchen of one of her many suburban friends) though, admittedly, the drama of this unisex, no-nonsense "ain't we cookin' now" Hollywood set would have been severely inhibited by the addition of a breakfast dinette and soiled kitchen towels hanging from the cabinet pulls), a concession to real life that Adrienne could not have foreseen in the architect's renderings. A television on a brass-toned rolling stand somewhere off to the right, each morning she would have kept abreast of current events with The Today Show. As the morning wore on, she would have changed from her quilted housecoat into feminine slacks (zipper on the side or up the back) and an appropriately coordinated top, then retired again to the kitchen to drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and attend to bills or correspondence, attended by the gay applause of game shows, sound of the vacuum running somewhere beyond the door, in the distant living room, maneuvered by the sub-culture (Negro or Hispanic) maid. Had she then some appointments to attend to, or errands to run, she would have changed into a casually pert and polyester wrinkle-free dress--but watch that clock! If the maid doesn't drive she must be done with her outings in time to pick up Susy or William at the elementary school (she not being old enough yet to have one child each in primary, secondary and senior high school).


This kitchen has a sterility that the designer has sought to pass off as a conceptually-whole space which you don't have to worry about personalizing as it already "is" and is therefore also supposedly of ultimate serviceability as it is complete unto itself. Maybe that's why I can imagine best Maureen O'Hara in this kitchen, as if it would take her bright red hair and fire to to balance it.

The conceptually-whole environment is the genie in the bottle that will make your dreams come true, getting along best with those who are looking for spaces that demand nothing of them.

The picture of this kitchen is from Disney's Wonderful World of Knowledge, Volume 12, copyright 1971, which was an updated and enlarged English version of an encyclopedia "printed in the Italian language by Arnoldo Mondadori in Milan. The picture comes out of the chapter titled, "Automation--What it is and how it works." The copy accompanying the picture reads, A housewife's dream--a kitchen staffed (up to a point) by robots. A robot controls the heat on the burners and in the ovens. It turns the ovens on and off. A robot keeps the refrigerator cold and frost free. It supplies the family with ice. Another robot washes and dries the dishes. A robot in the sink chews up the garbage. And all this while other robots are keeping the house warm in the winterand cool in the summer.

Now, what's funny is that I didn't read any of this, or the chapters before writing what I did about the picture. I was quickly glancing through the book this afternoon, looking at the pictures, and saw this photo and thought this was where I would start off my piece on Adrienne, about what she could have been if she was not who she is.


Oh, and by the way, the pig flying is an original creation by a woman named Kitty. I can't find her website now to give her credit for it. She said one was welcome to use the gif if one gave the credit.

Assorted people



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